Danny Greeves used to be crippled with a lack of self-confidence and doubted that he’d ever find love. After dates, girls would friendzone him until he finally gave up looking.
But an experience that tapped into his subconscious mind changed all that. Now he’s planning to get married next year to his fiancée, Jude.
He’s also written a book about his journey, ‘Six Steps to Self-Confidence: Build confidence. Express yourself. Have fun’.
In 2015 Danny’s life was very different. A paediatric musculoskeletal physiotherapist, he moved to London to join a private clinic. In those days he stayed up late watching TV, slept very badly, fell to sleep on the Tube and alcohol was his only saving grace.
“I had been chronically single for many years which contributed towards a low level of anxiety and low self-esteem,” says Danny, 32.
“My biggest challenge was my negative self-talk around not being able to find a relationship. I thought that was the answer to solve my problems. But I severely lacked confidence when it came to expressing my feelings to women I found attractive.”
At work he avoided challenges, rather than seeing them as opportunities to grow, and he lived with constant worry, but didn’t know how to help himself. He dreaded work meetings, never having the courage to voice an opinion, and he lived in fear of challenging patients.
But one day his company’s founder secured the services of an eminent neurosurgeon with a background in psychology.
‘Within 30 seconds of connecting to a memory that I had not thought about for 15 years, I was bawling my eyes out in front of the class’
During a session on emotions, Dr Palomar encouraged students to talk about the most emotionally painful event in their lives.
Danny froze when the good doctor asked him to come forward. To his complete surprise he began recalling the day his mum and dad sat him and his sisters down to tell them they were separating.
“Within 30 seconds of connecting to a memory that I had not thought about for 15 years, I was bawling my eyes out in front of the class. I was transported back to that actual moment and I even forgot that the class was there.
“I had experienced how unresolved, painful memories are stored subconsciously, how they stay with us until we do some work and balance them.”
Danny was recommended to see mental coach Matt Hudson. “In the 60 minute session with him my life completely shifted. It wasn’t a small incremental shift. It was a seismic, world- altering shift. I had a powerful experience of how the subconscious mind works and had one of the most intense experiences of my life.”
Ten days later, he met his fiancée.
Since then, Danny has done a lot of personal development work and has added confidence coach and hypnotherapist to his impressive list of skills.
He practises his own confidence model for an hour a day. He’s also a regular gym bunny and says High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) has made a huge difference to his physique and ultimately his confidence.
“Confidence can be learned and practised,” says Danny. And it is the key to experiencing more fun, meaning and pleasure in life. When you have confidence you express yourself fully, you’re present in each moment, you believe in yourself and you take on greater challenges. When you lack confidence the world is a scary place. You shrink in on yourself, you defer to others, your thoughts are focused on survival and your actions are ruled by fear.”
His book asks just one thing of its readers; spend an hour a day implementing what it teaches.
“Anyone can change their life for the better, and experience how the power of self-confidence transforms your mindset and positively affects every facet of your life.”
Danny’s Six Steps to Confidence
Step one: Exercise
Participating in and enjoying exercise in any form positively affects your mind, body and spirit. It’s a way to control your body which is an important skill to develop in order to control the mind. Consistency is important. High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) combined with weights, done regularly, builds fitness and confidence.
Step two: Personal development
It’s there for everyone. A mother with two young children may not go to the latest Tony Robbins seminar or visit a yoga retreat, but she may be reading books about childcare and studying different communication models about how to nurture loving relationships. It’s all personal development.
Step three: Meditation
Hypnotherapy is a vehicle to create tremendous change in how we think, feel and act. Danny found hypnotherapy excellent for improving confidence. It is a gentle way of releasing unwanted, negative thoughts and feelings and a great way to relax and return to balance. He practises self-hypnosis. Meditation improves attention and focus, resilience to stress, sleep and rivals medication for anxiety and stress.
Step four: Journaling
Writing down thoughts and emotions can help build self-esteem. Danny’s love of journaling began with writing down his answers to a simple question each day. What would you absolutely love to do in your life? When it’s used as part of the six-step system, your life plans are updated as you grow. It also ensures that you stay connected to your hopes and dreams on a daily basis.
Step 5: Planning and prioritisation
How much time does the average individual invest in planning how to use their lifetime? The primary benefits of planning are taking the time to pause, gaining clarity and making time to reassess. The old saying goes ‘failing to prepare is preparing to fail’. Planning sharpens focus, increases self-esteem and a sense of achievement.
Step 6: Learning and study
Our brain and nervous system are wired up to learn new information to help us survive, grow and thrive. Our neural circuits are set up to reward us with ‘feel good’ chemicals when we have learned something new. Our entire physiology lights up when we are learning something inspiring, creating near limitless energy. We are never too old to learn. It is empowering, fun and educational in a way that bears no resemblance to what most of us learned at school.
‘Six Steps to Self-Confidence: Build confidence. Express yourself. Have fun’.
For more info: www.dannygreevescoaching.com