In last month’s article I touched on how following your intuition can create huge transformation in your love life.
In fact, not only can it create big change it can do so very quickly. I have worked with clients who, despite spending years in high conflict with their partner, have been able to bring about a complete turnaround in their relationship dynamic in a matter of just a few months.
What is intuition and how can we develop it?
We often hear the words ‘follow your gut’ and ‘trust your intuition’, but what is intuition?
Oxford Languages defines it as:
“The ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning”.
When you are in touch with your intuition you will experience a sense of knowing that you are moving in the direction of what you value and desire in your life. You will take action in the moment based on an internal ‘pull’ or ‘yes’ that is aligned with how you want to live your life.
Following such a knowing is the fastest way to create more of what you want in your romantic life. It represents you taking a stand for what you want and who you want to be.
Why people struggle to trust and develop their intuition
1. They overthink things. Spending too much time questioning whether they are having an intuition or not.
2. They get stuck in the ‘what ifs’ and fail to act on their intuition.
“What if I speak up in my relationship and my partner gets upset?”
“What if I change so much that my partner decides to leave me, or I decide to leave him/her?”
3. They don’t understand the true nature of their power.
We all have the capacity to change our reality, much more than we realise. When we do the work to change ourselves we really can change our relationship. We certainly do not have to wait for our partner to change.
Even though following your intuition will create faster and more long-lasting transformation, it must be said that it is not necessarily the easiest way. The reason for this is that it often involves you taking action that others may perceive as foolish. It may not always make sense to you either. As a result, it can feel uncomfortable and a little scary because you are going against how you have been conditioned to act. However, no-one ever created change without stepping outside of their comfort zone.
The good thing to know is that true intuition will never make you go against yourself. It will never cause you to do something that you really do not want to do and that brings up huge, debilitating fear. This kind of action is more likely to be sabotage. This is where many people go wrong, thinking that their intuition is telling them they should leave their partner, when in fact they are actually avoiding doing what is necessary to create a far greater emotional and physical connection.
What you can do to develop your intuition
1. One of the best ways to cultivate better intuition is to start noticing when you have little nudges to act in ways that you know will help you take better care of yourself.
When you notice that you are feeling tired or stressed, for example, when you are on your computer: follow the nudge to take a break and go stand outside or just stop and take some breaths.
2. Stop questioning yourself and be prepared to take a risk. This is a sure-fire way to refine your intuition. This may end up looking a little ‘messy’ on the face of it. However, you will soon start trusting yourself more and more in terms of knowing when an action feels aligned compared to when it is more likely sabotage.
3. Stay unattached to outcome. It is important to stay unattached to any specific outcome as a result of taking intuitive action.
For example, if you have an intuition to say how you are feeling to your partner, do it for yourself because you want to be more open and honest. Do not expect them to behave in the way you think they should but instead give them space to respond in their own way and in their own timing.
The advantages of learning to trust yourself
At the end of the day learning to trust yourself and your intuition will help you create a romantic life that feels far more aligned with how you want to show up. If you want to create a relationship where you feel that you can fully be yourself and be seen, heard, and loved for all of who you are, then this is the most important skill you will ever develop.
The problem with not developing this skill is that you end up never really trusting your partner, because you don’t fully trust yourself. This is why so many people get caught up in a vicious cycle of hurt, pain and struggle in their love lives. They end up comparing their relationship with others or are constantly searching for a ‘magic pill’ or tip that will solve all their problems. They also get stuck in a perpetual waiting game, whereby they are hoping that one day their partner will suddenly become all that they have dreamt of.
Developing this ability within yourself, essentially will help you become more of a magnetic and energetic match to what you want to create in love.
I have many relationship tips I could share with you, but many of these will be useless if you use them from the wrong energy. The key is to clean up your energy so much so that you will be intuitively drawn to the exact tips that will help you dramatically change your love life. It is then that you will be able to stop the frantic online searching for the ‘right’ answer.
It is then that you will be able to trust yourself everyday to show up and create moments of transformation as well as moments of pure magic with your partner.
If you would like to find out if you are sabotaging your romantic life and are keen to create long-lasting change by trusting yourself to know what to do and when to do it, I am excited to share with you my new online course, Deeply Loved. Available to you at the introductory
price of £247, this course is designed to help you create a relationship where you know you are deeply loved by your partner and where you can show up fully as yourself without having to hide. You can find out more about this course here.