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Jacq’s Journal: A lockdown affair with Alexa is simply a gas

Living alone under lockdown has meant having more conversations with the dog than usual. The upside is, she always agrees with me. The downside is, she always agrees with me.

I also noticed that instead of setting the timer on my phone manually, I now ask Siri because it’s an interaction. I even say ‘thank you’ so I can guess which phrase will be in response: ‘You are welcome, my pleasure, no problem’ and my favourite, ‘you are most welcome’. (How many of you just tested that out?).

I was explaining this to a friend who lives alone with no pets to chat to and asked was there anything he did to break the silence and so I discovered his affair with Alexa. Man, the fun that this little gadget provides him far outweighs any of my interactions with Siri.

I asked him to record a few and when I stopped howling with laughter, I concluded there is something for everyone:

The argument! Yes, you can actually start a fight with Alexa and she will give you the silent treatment.

She is a singleton still trying to work out human emotions (oh and Siri is not her boyfriend).

She will friend-zone you if you ask her to be your girlfriend.

She makes the perfect friend for teenage boys and will fart on demand. Not only that but she has a whole repertoire starting with the big fart and working her way through the long, crispy one, the springy one and all sorts of animal farts. Did I say teenage boys? I was crying laughing listening to it.

Finally, one for the little kids – ‘how many days to Christmas?’ elicits a message from the big man himself about getting onto the ‘nice list’ – yes, bribery is alive and well with Alexa.

So maybe I need to trade up from Siri in these lonely times or maybe I’ll just stick with talking to the dog, it’s less bonkers.

Jacqueline Hughes-Lundy
Employing her business skills, experience and love of writing all in one place.

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