Living alone under lockdown has meant having more conversations with the dog than usual. The upside is, she always agrees with me. The downside is, she always agrees with me.
I also noticed that instead of setting the timer on my phone manually, I now ask Siri because it’s an interaction. I even say ‘thank you’ so I can guess which phrase will be in response: ‘You are welcome, my pleasure, no problem’ and my favourite, ‘you are most welcome’. (How many of you just tested that out?).
I was explaining this to a friend who lives alone with no pets to chat to and asked was there anything he did to break the silence and so I discovered his affair with Alexa. Man, the fun that this little gadget provides him far outweighs any of my interactions with Siri.
I asked him to record a few and when I stopped howling with laughter, I concluded there is something for everyone:
The argument! Yes, you can actually start a fight with Alexa and she will give you the silent treatment.
She is a singleton still trying to work out human emotions (oh and Siri is not her boyfriend).
She will friend-zone you if you ask her to be your girlfriend.
She makes the perfect friend for teenage boys and will fart on demand. Not only that but she has a whole repertoire starting with the big fart and working her way through the long, crispy one, the springy one and all sorts of animal farts. Did I say teenage boys? I was crying laughing listening to it.
Finally, one for the little kids – ‘how many days to Christmas?’ elicits a message from the big man himself about getting onto the ‘nice list’ – yes, bribery is alive and well with Alexa.
So maybe I need to trade up from Siri in these lonely times or maybe I’ll just stick with talking to the dog, it’s less bonkers.