Does anyone remember that iconic advert from the seventies that went: “Lipsmacking, thirst quenching, ace tasting, motivating, good buzzing, cool talking, high walking, fast living, ever giving, cool fizzing…Pepsi!”
Well, I think of this whenever I see adverts for the infamous TikTok leggings that have taken the internet by storm during lockdown.
“High Waist, Tummy Control, Booty Bubble, Hip Lifting, Workout, Running, Tights….”
For anyone who’s never heard of the phenomenon of the TikTok leggings, you’re in for a treat, or at least your other half most likely will be.
The adverts for these super-sexy leggings are worthy of a watch even if you’re not interested in buying.
For, it would seem, that whenever a woman wears these butt-enhancing leggings men go wild, or choke on their pies or faint on the floor. And that’s down to a piece of elastic which lifts and separates the bum cheeks and some other clever styling.
My friend and I were cynical because we believed that women who were modelling these leggings already had amazing bottoms with or without a touch of TikTok.
So in the interest of science she bought a pair to assess her partner’s reaction.
Now this partner has two preoccupations in life – parking and Man United.
It could take this man 10 minutes to park on a street with no other traffic.
So she put on her new leggings with a short top and invited him over. When she went out to greet him she wore a coat and he, as usual, was chunnering about the parking.
When she got into the house she took off her jacket and he suddenly went quiet mid-chunner. His look of irritation changed into a grin as wide as the Mersey Tunnel. Not a word was said.
Not quite the reaction she’d hoped for. So he settled down to watch the match while she busied herself pouring a drink, somewhat disappointed that he hadn’t fainted at the sight of her bum or at least felt the urge to sink his teeth into it.
So, in a final attempt to get a reaction, she bent over in front of the telly, just as Rashford was about to score, and pretended to be wiping dust off the screen. Ordinarily, such an act of treachery would have resulted in a frantic “shift will ya!”.
But no, in a dreamy voice he said: “I’m not going to worry about my car in future. I’ll bring my bike. I’ve found the perfect place to park it!”
Our next experiment is to buy a pair for my 85-year-old mum.
Tik Tok leggings, no bum should be without them.